Friends – Part 1 (Daily Encouragement Series)

Brian Sullivan   -  

A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.” – Proverbs 17:17

It is amazing how frequently the bible speaks about adversity. It’s one of my favorite things about the Bible -that it isn’t naive to the realities of a fallen world, but speaks into the challenges we all face. ONE of the things we all need in adversity is FRIENDS.

There are different types and levels of friendships* (we need them all) as well as a need to continually strengthen friendships (part 2 tomorrow.). It is helpful to identify these different types and levels so we can both cultivate them all and also not feel guilty about not being “best friends” with everyone (it’s impossible). 

Types of Friendship

Circumstantial friends: because of our current circumstances in life – where we work, live and play – we will develop friendships out of these areas. There will be everyday interactions and opportunities where we are called to be kind and serve. These relationships are important, but not all will develop into true friendships. 

True Friends for a season: These are the people with who “we know and are known”. Who we “do life with” day in and day out. The majority of true friendships will be seasonal rather than lifelong. Life ebbs and flows and our friendships follow that pattern. People move, get different jobs, we move into different seasons. As life’s circumstances change (this happens in Florida A LOT), the dynamics of the friendship changes. You care about people and stay in touch, but don’t have the same day in and day out dynamics and intimacy.

Lifelong friends: Sometimes circumstances and chemistry align and that friendship last a lifetime. For obvious reasons, we cannot force or manufacture lifelong friendships. They are forged in the trenches of everyday life—and by definition, they take a lifetime to develop. 

Level’s of friendship

We see even in the life of Jesus he had various relational circles. He interacted with the masses, he sent out the 72, he had the 12 disciples and the 3 “inner-circle”. We need this too. 

“The 72”: a larger circle of friends. Think of your church. You know what’s happening in one another’s lives but don’t interact with constantly or even on a 1 on 1 basis frequently. However you are connected and have the same mission and purpose. 

“The 12”: Jesus did 3 years of ministry together with the 12 disciples. They lived their day to day lives together with Jesus. They did everyday things of life together consistently: dinners together, recreation, serving one another, etc. 

“The 3”: Within the 12 there were the 3 who were more intimate and close with Jesus. These people know your heart, are a frequent encouragement and are known at a very intimate, close level. 

All of these types and levels of friendship are important and we need all of them, particularly in adversity. 

In all of this, the most important and amazing news of the gospel, is that Jesus loves us and calls us “friend” (John 15:14). It is out of his love and friendship that we can have and become the friend we need. 

What types and levels of friendship are strong for you? What type and level are you lacking? Where might you spend less time in one to strengthen another? (more on how to do that tomorrow)

*For more, see “Simplify” by Bill Hybels